Why do so many guys seem to think that if you once liked them, that interest never fades? Maybe that’s the case for them but for us women, on the other hand, not so much. We can literally be head over heels for you one year and then the next year squeem at the thought of even kissing you. I don’t know how it works out that way but it does. We women are just capable of doing that. Could be the fact that we’re not as used to rejection (in any form) as you are! *Take notes male friends*
Anyway! Here’s what I need to know: When these men try to make their way back into our lives, What The Heck Are They Thinking? What’s the motive? Where do they get the balls to re-approach us after a not so successful first attempt? If you share in this curiosity ladies, then look no further. Our boys over at Single Black Man, provided some different insight outside of your usual “I’ve changed for the better baby.” Here’s some reasons why men almost always come back:
#1 Sometimes we want to see whether or not you’ve changed…
Contrary to popular belief, we men are human. We do catch the vapors every once in awhile. The only thing better than meeting an awesome new woman is meeting an old girlfriend who now seems way more awesome than she was when you were with her. I’m sure social networking sites like facebook go a long way in exacerbating this. An old flame uploads new pictures and, voila, her phone turns into the “hey, it’s me, it’s been a minute…” hotline. When we’re interested in getting to know the new you our interest is not genuine. It’s more of a novelty. We want to prove to ourselves, and to you, that we didn’t make a mistake the first time around. That you’re not really that different, that the thing about you that always annoyed us is still there just below the glossy airbrushed surface of your new professionally taken profile pic. We want to find out whether you’ve been doing hella squats and that’s all you back there or whether that’s just an awesome camera angle. We want to know if that nonchalant confidence you exuded when you jetted off after briefly chatting with us when we bumped into you on the street was actually real confidence or the product of many-a-night spent practicing everything you’d say and do should you happen to randomly run into us somewhere. Again, if this is why we’re coming back, it’s selfish and we might as well stay gone.
#2 Sometimes We’re Just Being Manipulative…
Here’s a secret about some of us men I probably shouldn’t be telling. Sometimes, we just want control. Many of us went through a period in our lives where our most valuable talent was our ability to exert an unhealthy amount of control over the women we were dealing with. The thing about having that sort of control is that it makes it impossible to build any sort of lasting relationship. If we can control you, we can’t respect you. We can pretend to, but, in reality we don’t. The two things women reading this should take from this point are:
1) Never let a man have full control over you unless that man has married you.
2) If a man who once had that sort of control over you reappears, we probably just want to see if we still have it.
Be honest with yourself. If you’re unsure of whether or not you really are free, then when we come back, you need to run. Just run. Don’t be embarrassed, don’t try to prove to us that you’re free, just run the other way because you’re about to go through that same thing you went through all that time ago. I wish we weren’t this way, but sometimes, some of us are.
#3 Sometimes, We Realize What We’ve Lost and Are Ready to be Whatever We Need To Be To Get It Back…
Smh… makes sense though. To read the last 2 reasons why men almost always come back, check out SBM.
Haha. Interesting. At least it all finally makes sense. If you want him back, make sure that you live up to the new expectations that you’ve set for yourselves ladies via those FB/Instagram pics. Think they skipped out on some deets ladies and gents? Got some stories of your own to share? Got some more questions about why men always try to wiggle their way back into the picture? Leave your comments below and we’ll get to the bottom of it for ya. Guys leave your questions too!
Until next time!