To Forgive, Not To Forget, And To Move Forward

In recent episodes of”Love &Hip Hop ATL”, Mimi Faust made a very personal confession about her relationship with her mother. After having been abandoned for over thirteen years without her, Mimi confessed that her life was lacking in the love department. She has subconsciously looked for someone to fill this vacancy in her heart. Queue center stage: Stevie J.

Popularly known as “Steebie”, Mr. J has proven himself to be a manipulative, self-absorbed womanizer throughout the LHHATL show. In addition to having an affair with Joseline Hernandez, the crick in the neck of Stevie and Mimi’s relationship, Stevie has built a wall around the deeply rooted issues he refuses to discuss.

Coincidentally, both Mimi and Stevie grew up motherless. This makes their relationship all the more transparent as to how these two are connected on an extrasensory perception kind of level.However, that does not excuse Mimi’s “enabling behavior” as Dr. Jeffrey Gardere referenced. She allows Stevie J to mistreat her, accepting him back into her life on several occasions.

Somewhat suggested on the show, Mimi’s number one concern is her daughter and the type of family life she provides for her. Granted, this is a valid concern. Now, Mimi must ask herself, can she sacrifice her own happiness for the promise of a “normal” family?

Parents willingly sacrifice for their children. Single mothers usually have to sacrifice a lot more. As it stands, Mimi is sacrificing her emotional health for a destitute relationship with a man who is neither a quality partner nor a positive role model for their daughter. What a great task it is to exchange the weight of your own pain for the happiness of someone else.

If Mimi continues to hold on to the pain of her mother’s absence, she will continue to use “love” as a form of healing. Mimi is taking the risk of repeating the destructive curse placed by her mother that she desperately wants to end. Ultimately, she finds herself stuck between a past that she won’t forgive and a love that is unforgiving.

Hurt is not meant to hinder growth. Instead, it should make you better. Stronger. Like the song says.

It’s difficult to walk away from a situation that you’re attached to. It takes time to let the scar of abandonment, humiliation, and pain heal. It also takes courage to forgive. Mimi needs to make a choice. To forgive, not to forget, and to move forward.

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