The Perfect Time to Call Her a B*TCH

B*TCH!!!! No one can say it like Short. I just wonder if Mr. Too Short says it to his significant other and when. Maybe it’s just for those tricks on the track. However the word is becoming more and more acceptable as a reference to young ladies. How do the regular 9-5 men know when and where to use it? Should we at all? I guess the B word is something like the N word. It can be confusing at times. Ladies call themselves it but will get offended if a male says it. Give me a break B*tch… I mean my queen! I didn’t take Pimpology 101 in school but I’ve done some research and I’m ready to give the good people that frequent Singersroom the “game.” The perfect times to call someone a “b*tch”:

1. Use of a Disclaimer – You are probably not the guy that can slide through a conversation with a lady and call her a “b*tch.” I know you meant it in a “good way,” but don’t let The-Dream’s new song “Dope B*tch” over-hype your character and leave you with a hand imprint on your face. Some things work in films or on records, but not in real life; calling your lady a female dog is one of them. As The Dream creeps to the chorus to announce his lady was a “dope b—-,” he neutralized the situation with a waiver, “I mean no disrespect by this next line.”

2. Sex – Listen fellas you can ask or say anything during this time. Just make sure you have the following:

A. Excellent Performance – You have to have an excellent “performance” between the sheets. It can’t be too short or too long. I mean this sex has to make her want to change her last name or tattoo your first name on her neck.

B. And/Or Large Equipment – You shouldn’t bring a knife to a gun fight and you definitely shouldn’t come unprepared for war. That’s like fighting a war with 22’s. You need to have the big guns out to be able to talk your talk. In this case, the talk is throwing in the B word which may offend or excite your partner. Make sure you have the candles lit, R. Kelly playing that animal song, “The Zoo” while your giving her a dose of rough sex. This is the time to through in the good ol’, “B you know you love this!” Believe me it works every time. (Well, most of the time.)

3. Compliment – You might be wondering “How could a time for a compliment be a great time to use the B word?” Well … because the b word in this circumstance is used as a way to show how extraordinary she is (supposedly). Say your lady has just gotten ready to go out with you on a date. She looks amazing and all of the curves are in place. No other phrase can capture the moment like “Damn baby you’re a bad a$$ B*tch.” Women love compliments so much they might even let it slide. Also the fact you added “bad A$$” in front just makes it even better. (If beautiful women are now being referred to as bags of money I don’t think bad A$$ B*TCH sounds as offensive.)

4. Artistic Expression – You can say it with confidence in a song or as a way to express yourself artistically. Rappers as well as some singers say B*TCH like the word is going out of style. That just gives you more of an opportunity to say B*TCH at the top of your lungs. It is similar to white folks screaming out the N word out at concerts. They probably wouldn’t go up to someone and say “What’s crackin’ my NI&&@” but rappers like Jay-Z and Kanye West give everyone the opportunity to share their world. I guess the N word and B word are part of this world.

The B word, like the N word, does have power. We can argue either side. However, this article was written as a satirical way to show how we have made negative words acceptable. We just have to, one be responsible and two truly examine the affects it may have in the future. I’m no Martin Luther King, but when do we draw the line?