Domestic Abuse: Taking A Good Man Down

And it’s ugly as hell. Since news of the scandal broke, I’ve read some of the most ignorant, ass backwards commentary I hope I never have the displeasure of reading again.

Black women attacked Rihanna and blamed her for Chris’ alleged actions. They always premised their ill-advised comments with, “I don’t condone domestic violence or a man hitting a woman, but…” But what? They have pretty much guaranteed that the next words out of their mouths will cancel out their “disclaimers.”

Many of them said they didn’t trust her because she was from the Caribbean. Yup! I guess any woman coming out of the Caribbean is a hellion, so she MUST deserve whatever ass whooping she gets for being to “firey.” Wouldn’t this be an indicator that African-American women find themselves to be weak? I think this was from the crowd with the inferiority complex. As a woman of Caribbean ancestry, I just want to let you know that we are human too. We are not “firey Sapphires” who emasculate men. We have different values, different upbringings, and different views on life, but we are not deserving of domestic abuse. White women don’t deserve it, Asian women don’t deserve it, Hispanic women don’t deserve it… There is no justification.

The editorials I read today made my head hurt. Is there ANY wonder why African-American women are dealing with some of the shit they are dealing with? I, for one, am not wondering at all. I know these women are not the official spokespersons for black women, but if their comments are an indicator of why black women are facing the adversity they are facing, then we are in need of a revolution and soon before these women procreate and poison their sons and daughters.

Let me make this clear. It’s not okay for a man to hit a woman. It’s not okay to make excuses because you have gotten beat before. If you stayed and justified your whipping that is something you will have to live with. You cannot encourage another woman to stay silent because you did.

When they weren’t bashing Caribbean women, they were talking about past incidents where they, a friend, or a family member suffered a beat down from a guy “for spouting off at the mouth.” Black women are suffering from some kind of PTSD, because the excuses I heard were lame.

“Oh, well, my sister used to pop off at the mouth, and make her boyfriend angry and one day, he just hit her. I mean, I don’t condone domestic violence, but I know how women get. We egg these men on and sometimes, they hit us.”

This is the saddest thing, because they experienced domestic abuse and actually believed that it was normal to be hit for “popping off” to a man. Ladies this is not alright. You could pop off all day, it takes a bigger man to walk away and let you sit there cursing to yourself. Let me say again, you could talk about his momma all day, it is NOT okay for him to hit you, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

The same thing goes for men. If she’s hitting you and hurting you physically, you need to remove yourself from that relationship. Abuse is abuse and nobody should feel like they deserve to have someone hit them because they “ran their mouth” too much.

Chris witnessed his mother being hit by his stepdad. If Chris did indeed hit Rihanna, chances are he would be disgusted with anyone who justified his actions, because he did not justify his mother’s abuse either. He knew it was wrong for her to be beaten by his stepfather. If the reports prove to be true, he is not too happy with himself and would be nauseated by his fans. He is a human being, not a god. I dare say he has emotions and understands right from wrong.

Some women blamed Rihanna for taking out another “good” black man. Black women, wake up there is not a shortage, you just have to get out there. If he hit her, he’s not a very good man is he?

I also read comments from men backing the females up, no doubt emboldened sufficiently enough to say that some black women deserve to be hit because they push a “brotha’s” buttons. What these female Chris Brown apologists fail to realize is the fact that they are sending the message to men with abusive inclinations that black women confirm and believe that they are so loud and obnoxious that a good hit here and there is sufficient to keep us in line.

I am not accusing Chris Brown of anything. I am just amazed at how young black women will rip each other apart and condone domestic violence because they have no sense of value. If that isn’t tragic, I don’t know what is. What happened to sisterhood?

The opinions expressed in this editorial feature do not necessarily reflect the position of or any of its employees —— By: Seattle Slim


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