Too Nice

You said he was what? Too nice?!

Yes, too nice. That all too dreaded category that can ruin any guy’s potential in the eyes of whatever female he’s pursuing. Everyone knows that one guy that seems meeker than a mouse, agrees to everything, and constantly apologizes for asking questions. (*Sidebar: To any guy, or anyone for that matter, who apologizes profusely when speaking, please stop. It’s like apologizing for your existence and is wholly unnecessary.) Simply put, this type of behavior is not cute. Why? Because, it gives off the impression, whether right or wrong, that you can easily be manipulated and preyed upon. And to be completely honest, no one likes a push over (or maybe you do). Please don’t be mistaken. Just because the idea of an overly nice man turns most women off doesn’t mean that all women want the “soldier” Destiny’s Child so vehemently desired. Just someone who has, and uses, the ability to stand up for themselves.

But be careful; before you (females) start pointing fingers and agreeably screaming “Yeah!” to the listed qualities, you might want to take a look in the mirror because that “too nice” syndrome might have befallen you as well. Ever done a favor for that “friend” that has done you dirty so many times in the past? Accepted your unappreciative employer’s offer to stay late even though you know you couldn’t and shouldn’t? Led a guy on because you refused to tell him your true feelings (or lack thereof) towards him for fear of hurting his feelings? Yeah, you’re sounding too nice right about now. Regardless of your gender, nearly everyone struggles with being taken advantage of.

So, now that you have successfully been diagnosed as too nice, what’s to be done? Learn how to say “no,” of course (with confidence, that is). Though this sounds simple enough, it truly is not. Essentially, you have to retrain yourself to no longer accept the unacceptable or plant some magical seed to grow yourself a backbone. Both options may seem utterly impossible but can be done and should be done because the rewards are endless. What would happen if you answered, “No, I can’t do it,” to your supposed “friend” who needed a favor “this one last time?” The answer is: probably nothing. Well, you might lose a “friend,” but if they are willing to walk away because of your decision, chances are they weren’t a true friend anyway. So what does that leave you with? One less friend, the option to fill the time you were going to spend helping them out with a much more productive activity, your dignity, and a voice. One that (hopefully) resonates loudly with your newfound power. —— By: Bethany N.


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