Men have always and will always be different than women. They respond differently to situations than we do, date differently, and interact differently. Instead of getting pissed off and asking your friends why men do the things they do, here’s a thought, why not honestly pull yourself out of what you want a guy to do and start understanding things on his terms?
We all have those friends or know of those people who seem to always attract the best men. They have no problem getting the right guy to commit, have awesome relationships with minimal drama, rarely complain about problems with the opposite sex, and have even mastered the art of breaking up seamlessly with minimal emotional damage. What do they do that’s so different from you? Here’s my observation:
5. She Takes The Time To Understand Him and His Specific Needs/Wants
I’m sorry if this is news to you, but you’re not the best thing ever created since the Internet and not every guy is going to be clamoring to be on #TeamYou. Some guys may not even be looking to ::gasp:: be on anybody’s team and may just want to have some fun. Understand the type of guy you’re dealing with, what they want, and, more importantly, if their interests even remotely match yours. Learn to assess if you may wasting your time chasing a guy who’s not on the same page as you from the beginning, accept whatever the answer is, and either move forward with said guy or move on to the next guy. The truth is whether the guy is a jerk or not doesn’t matter.
In short, stop blaming the guy for your lack of good judgement. Jerks don’t hide their qualities and usually are very upfront with us, we’re the ones who will take “I’m not looking for anything serious” and turn into “I’m not looking for anything serious, but would be open to something serious with you.” If you read those statements as virtually being the same thing, you must first understand why they’re not and stop trying to find scenarios where the first can mean the second.
4. She’s Knows How Not To Be Submissive, But She Can Still Share The Spotlight
Females who have mastered the art of having good relationships have found a good balance between being a doormat and being a high maintenance diva. They know how to both support their SO and how to challenge him in a way that helps him improve.
3. She Keeps Their Relationship Business Private
Honestly, what one sees on the outside of a good relationship may be only 10% of what may be actually going on. It’s not that the two are putting on a front, but that they have learned to deal with their problems (the same problems every all couples eventually face) without involving their friends and families. Guys admire this drama-free quality because nobody wants to be made a villain off of one disagreement and want to know that they can also be themselves without fear that the woman they are with will divulge private information meant for just her with all of her friends.
2. She’s Mastered The Art of Communicating With Her Man
Communication is key in any relationship but so is getting to know a person’s communication style. I usually don’t give the time of day to anyone that insists on texting me more than they call and my boyfriend has learned that I’m very bad with responding via text but will answer almost instantly to a phone call or at least make an effort to get in contact with him if I missed a call. I’ve learned to spread out the time we talk, as he’ll get a little annoyed if it’s just back and forth calling throughout the same day. Instead of trying to force your communication style on someone, compromise and find something that works for the two of you.
1. And the #1 Reason? She’s Just Cooler Than You
I kid, I kid. But that’s just the point. Learn to kid around a bit more and not be so serious about things. Just because a guy has taken you out a couple of times doesn’t mean he isn’t into you because he hasn’t made things official. If he’s enjoying himself and you like the time you two spend together then why add extra stress to a comfortable situation? Still keep seeing whoever else you’re seeing and keeping yourself open to new opportunities. Get to know the guy you’re interested in on a personal level and honestly find qualities in him that you like that make him Mr. Amazing to you. Sometimes, we give guys the title of Mr. Amazing without really even knowing them. If he’s into paint balling and you’ve never been, the cool girl says to potential Mr. Amazing let’s go paint balling next weekend while the average chick says nothing. Who’s actions are really more likely to get him?
About Carla Clunis
You can find more of Carla’s musings on love and relationships at www.theheartmalfunctions.com where she blogs about the ups and downs of dating and relating.
—— By: Carla Clunis