Relationships: Were They The Best Thing You Never Had?

So, I’m not a big Beyonce fan. Her songs are catchy and she’s a GREAT performer but, for me, she just never recorded a song I was feeling like that until…

I like how she had this song play out because, honestly, too many songs take the same old “boohoo they left me and now I miss them” route. But not every ex is worth those emotions. Not every ex who drops the ball or decides we are not worth appreciating is worth looking back on or reminiscing over.

I look back on a few of my past failed attempts at trying with someone who wasn’t 100% there with me and often wondered why such and such didn’t like me then or what went wrong with us, but honestly, the answers to those questions don’t matter. What matters is how we move forward from that and create happiness with someone else who is willing to give us not only the level of commitment we want but also the respect we deserve.

Beyonce Best I never Had

Far too many times we dwell on those people who didn’t treat us right or grow bitter from those experiences, but let’s take a lesson from Beyonce and charge it to the fact that whatever caused the split was probably the best thing that could happen for you because you can now find someone you’re more compatible with.

But how do you become okay with a breakup if it lacked any real closure or you still think things were left open? What if it’s a classic case of the old broke up today and back together tomorrow? I wish I had the one answer to those questions that would calm the uneasiness that comes with that but you get there by forcing yourself to let go and truly believing that you’ll get out of this alright.

The most relevant ex before Mike…it was a tough breakup to say the least and for awhile I wasn’t okay. I ended up building a wall and becoming angry because I felt like I did everything possible to make things work but the truth is that he wasn’t that great a boyfriend in return. I didn’t see that and I don’t think we see that until long after the relationship is over and end up alienating ourselves from people who can potentially treat us better.

The best thing we can do is to take a long, hard look at whatever past relationship we had that we’re holding onto and assess whether or not it was as good as we really thought. Is it worth our grief, our pain, and any more of our thoughts or searching for “the why?” Usually, the answer is no and until we come to that conclusion for ourselves we will never be able to fully introduce another into our lives.

Brava on this one thins one Beyonce…brava!!

About Carla Clunis
You can find more of Carla’s musings on love and relationships at where she blogs about the ups and downs of dating and relating.

Also, help win “Best New Blog” for the 2011 Black Weblog Award HERE.
—— By: Carla Clunis


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