The Dating Kitchen: One At A Time or Full Course ?

By |2009-07-10T20:35:50+00:00July 10th, 2009|Categories: Lifestyle, Relationship & Sex Advice|0 Comments

Dating one person at a time might have been acceptable years ago but with today’s limited dating pool, the prospect of dating on a one-to-one basis is near impossible!

“Dating one man at a time can be not only a setup for severe disappointment but also a waste of precious child-bearing years, quarter and midlife crisis time, even your retirement,” says New York Times Best Selling Author Karrine Steffans.

Now before you jump and say how dare a woman who was once called “Superhead” give advice, think about what she said for a minute.

The days of dating one man or woman at a time are gone, especially since quality, educated, employed and ‘sane’ people are hard to find. Now it is true that there is a double standard when it comes to men, women and dating. Often it is the woman who is deemed a slut, whore or worse, when she is found to be dating Marcus, William and Hakeem (for example). When in actuality she is exercising her options — as she should.

In Steffans’ soon-to-be released book The Vixen Diaries, Steffans says “Do not let the fear of being labeled keep you from making the best decisions for yourself. If that includes dating multiple partners, then do so with confidence, unmoved by the unwarranted scrutiny that may come your way.”

But what about the looks and comments from friends and family ?

R&B singer and American Idol winner Fantasia put it best on 2006s “Fantasia” when she sang “Bump What Your Friends Say”.

The truth is that, this is your life, emphasis on “your”. Like Fantasia said “if I’d have listened to my family, I would probably down, out and lonely”. Follow your heart and if it requires taking Marcus, William and Hakeem’s number so be it. The art of creating competition is just like the complexities of supply and demand. If no one wants it, the product gets pushed to the side like Bow Wow’s ill fated “New Jack City Vol.1”.

All jokes about Bow Wow, who had his own alleged history with Steffans, aside, Steffans backs the aforementioned point up in ‘The Vixen Diaries’, stating:

“Men love a challenge. They love the thrill of winning and being proven better than any other man.” Therefore, give him a chance to chase and ultimately you’ll find out exactly what he is truly about. If he fights for you, figuratively, with intelligence to boot, then he could be a winner. If he backs off or worse yet, resorts to the childish name calling (whore, slut, trollop, etc) then you don’t want him anyway!

When it comes to dating, how many prospects would you date at a time ?

—— By: Njai Joszor

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