Buy You A Drink

Clearly, the women of 2007 have been able to balance beauty, grace, and power; I’m under the impression that ladies don’t need us men anymore, (Your breaking my heart ladies). However one of my good female friends informed me that this wasn’t the case. She said, “We still need you fools for drinks at the club… I’m not spending my hard earned money!” Wow, is that all we are good for: a kiwi-strawberry flavored cosmopolitan, a mango flavored mojhito, a kamikaze with a twist of orange extract, or a chocolate chip margarita.

Is that it? It leaves me wondering are men just buying drinks for a sexy girl who is going to forget about them, as soon as they get the drink, to go dance the night away with a 6’9 football player with dreads. Ladies let me inform you that the drink is more than a drink to a man. It comes with a price, or may I say conditions.

I guess I’m trying to warn you self proclaimed independent women before you make a life long “commitment” in the club. I’m going to call it a severe warning because times are getting rough out here for men; after all Bush is still in office and gas prices are high. That victim you call a man could have spent that drink money on gas; instead he chose to buy you a drink. Do you get the picture? I ask this question, to my sexy self-reliant proclaimed independent women, if you’re so independent why do you feel you are entitled to free drinks?

I wouldn’t mind a free drink here or there from an attractive female dressed to kill in her “freak ’em” dress like the Sporty Thieves have so eloquently stated above. Ladies I wouldn’t mind you letting me know I had my sexy face on and you loved my style. (I know you love it) Don’t be a cheapskate remember your independent ladies… right? I guess its part of the game …the drinks, eye contact, and flirting is part of this gender attraction battle. Ladies you’ve got to get it together, and make up your minds; do you want to be an independent woman or do you want free drinks? Women may never make up their mind about this issue but men already have found a resolution. It’s called the Women Drinking Mental Club Contract. Understand that a man drafts a mental contract with your mental signature on it when or if you the women excepts a drink:

Warning Warning Warning
Warning That Drink has become DrAnK

1. If A MAN BUYS YOU A Drink AT THE CLUB he would like to get your name, profession, and maybe even your social security number.(these men think they can ask you anything)

2. If A MAN BUYS YOU A Drink AT THE CLUB he thinks he gets priority dancing privileges.

3. If A MAN BUYS YOU A Drink AT THE CLUB he thinks he can bore you with what he does or better yet what he plans to do(you’re probably thinking he’s a scrub now and giving your friend the signal so you can disappear)

4. If A MAN BUYS YOU A Drink AT THE CLUB he thinks you are attracted to him.(Every man thinks they are sexy in their little heads)

5. If A MAN BUYS YOU A Drink AT THE CLUB he thinks he can to whisper in your ear.

6. If A MAN BUYS YOU DrAnKs AT THE CLUB he thinks he can set up a date for the next day.(Order the most expensive thing on the menu if you do go on a date with him since he thinks he’s BALLIN-shout out Jim Jones son)

7. If A MAN BUYS YOU DrAnKs AT THE CLUB he thinks he can ask you who was that you were talking to in the club.(At this point in time he thinks he is your daddy. Better check him before he gets crazy.)

8. If A MAN BUYS YOU DrAnKs AT THE CLUB he thinks he gets to walk with you to your transportation like he’s your man.

9. If A MAN BUYS YOU DrAnKs AT THE CLUB he thinks you’re coming home with him. (Ladies he must be out his natural mind)

(If I buy you enough drinks we’re getting married you just don’t know it yet. Since the man has to pop bottles like Jay-Z you have to at least do your best Beyonce impression.)

This is the fine print a man types in his head on the Drinking Mental Club Contract. This contract is a contract respected by men around the world. I know you ladies are probably steaming from this by now and will definitely be writing me hate emails but that’s the attention I love, so feel free. I really don’t care I’m just the messenger. It’s not like men hate to buy drinks it’s just that they expect to be rewarded for their contributions. It’s about fairness ladies. So on that note, I’m going to leave you with this beautiful selection.

T-Pain’s Buy You A Drink
baby girl
whats your name
let me talk to you
let me buy you a drink
im t-pain, you know me
Konvict music, Nappy Boy ooh wee
i know the club close at 3
whats the chance of you rollin wit me
back to the crib
show you how i live
lets get drunk forget what we did

[Chorus:]
imma buy you a drank ooo wee
ohh imma take you home with me
i got money in the bankkkkkkk
shawty what chu think bout that
find me in the grey cadillac
we in the bed like
ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh
we in the bed like
ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh