Liars, Tigers and Bears: The Cheating Game

Jazmine Sullivan Live a Lie Lyrics:
[Chorus:]
If a lie gon get me thru
I rather not know the truth
If the truth gon make me cry
I rather just live a lie

Catching your partner in your bed with someone else might be as scary as facing a lion, tiger, or bear. It’s just not the idle ending to your personal book of love that you would like. However, in some real cases we find ourselves overwhelmed with the ugly reality of infidelity. How does it feel to see the truth for yourself? It must be dramatizing and probably bitter baggage that will haunt you for the next couple of relationships. Like everyone didn’t have enough hang-ups to worry about! It’s an experience that might make you unsure of yourself and the actions of others unless you’re just a superman or wonder woman. Despite the strengths and endurance of the heart, people still find themselves hurting and protecting themselves with statements like “men ain’t shit or woman are all hoes.” Not really, your man wasn’t shit and maybe your woman was a hoe. It’s not fair to say every woman or man has the same traits or behaves the same way as your previous partner did. You have your men and women that do good and bad. People make mistakes and you might be caught in the crossfire. It’s the casualties of love. But anyway knowing the potential of being hurt, from prior relationships or from the relationships of others, I state this question.

Would you rather live a lie if the truth is going to make you cry?

My friend Stephanie always said, “I wish I would catch my boyfriend cheating on me. If he ever hurt me, I would make him feel it. I would bust all his windows and cut him.” I usually say, “Damn thank God you’re not my girl.”

Then she would reply, “If a man knew better he would do better.” I still don’t know what that meant but whatever.

The funny thing is Stephanie and her boyfriend both cheated …A LOT! I knew Stephanie from high school. She was that popular girl that looked twenty-eight at the age of fifteen. And her boyfriend Tone was my older cousin’s best friend, so I had an idea of what they were both capable of. (Pause: Girls would say Tone was attractive, not me. And Stephanie wasn’t just curvy but beautiful. She really liked me but she didn’t know it at the time. Lol.) They had one of those old school relationships that would make you question why they were together because they always were arguing. But for some reason Stephanie took pride in not catching Tone cheating.

“No female can touch me and my baby knows that no matter what we go through!” said Stephanie every damn time she got a chance.

I was cool with both of them so whatever they did behind closed doors was their business. I just knew if anyone of them found out they were cheating the skies would go completely black and lightning would strike. She was always telling me about some guy that wanted to take her on a date or take her shopping. (She always went on the dates but tried to act like the guy was just stalking her. Please!!!) I would always catch Tone driving his drop top BMW with some random girl with her hair blowing in the wind as he flew down my block.

So the story was . . . Stephanie had one of her little “innocent dates” with some dude at this ritzy restaurant. Tone happened to be cruising with one of his “shawties” in his freshly washed BMW as Stephanie was coming out of the restaurant. They spotted each other but Tone continued to drive. (Probably nervous as hell.) Not to his surprise Ms Stephanie calls.

“Who the hell is that in my passenger seat?”

“Just a friend, baby!”

“Y’all seemed real familiar and close to be ‘just’ friends. Come back here so I can meet ‘our friend.'”

“I’m already on the highway. I can’t turn around, I have to take her home she’s late for a meeting.”

“Okay, Tone. You do know NO chick can touch me and you know better, so you better do better! She better be your friend. Meet me at my house when you drop her off and make sure to take a shower you looked like you stink.”

Stephanie had her date drop her off down the street from Tones’ house and she walked a block to his house in her new Gucci heels. (Men never get to catch woman…damn.) Of course she had the key. She opened the door and walked into the room and there was the same girl and the same stupid ass Tone. Stupid stupid stupid! Men can be so stupid. The thing that got me is that Tone never asked Stephanie who she was with because he was so scared; but then this fool brings the girl to his house.(One time in a day is enough…damn). So there was a whole lot of furniture moving, she beat the brakes off that girl and chased Tone around with a knife. (One of those Chef Boyardee knives). Tone called the police and I had to pick Stephanie up from the police station.

I know there are a lot of people out there that have similar stories with different details but from her eyes I could see the hurt that I’ve never experienced. She didn’t speak, she didn’t yell – she changed. She said that she couldn’t get the image out of her head. She got back with him but she was never the same after that. It’s like she lost her glow. She had become like a ghost. She knew he cheated but the fact that she saw it for herself just took her over the top.

I talked to some of my boys about this situation and they all said that they wouldn’t be able to deal with it at all. They wouldn’t be able to even look at their girl the same way after seeing something so crazy. Maybe that has something to do with men really being the sensitive ones. However, at the end of the day feelings are hurt, trust is broken, relationships end, and people are left with that bitter baggage. Did Stephanie really want to see it for herself? I think if she could do it all over, she would opt to hear it from a second hand source or not have to deal with the cheating thing at all.

I guess Jasmine Sullivan is on to something. (These are probably the realest lyrics I have heard all year.)

Singersroom

Since 2005, Singersroom has been the voice of R&B around the world. Connect with us via social media below.