Should Ladies Call One Another Hoes?

Former Destinys Child group member Letoya Luckett came under quite a bit of heat earlier in the week on the urban blogs when while performing on stage she was quoted as saying the following about her one time fellow group members Kelly Rowland and Beyonce “[Kelly] is still my “Motivation.” Each of ya’ll go and get four copies of her album and get Beyonce’s album too. Stop hating on that girl. You know she is one of the most talented girls on the face of this earth. Both them h*es werk! Y’all support them, it is no beef, no hate between us. We are grown heffas, that was ten years ago. Y’all leave that alone and let us work.”

Now, from the tone of the statement, it was obvious to me that she meant no harm in her use of the words “heffas” and “hoes.” Hell, she even encouraged that the audience purchased their albums. After all, she has known these women since they were young girls. Before the fame. Despite their breakup, there seems to be peace among the ladies. However, certain commentators on the popular site Necole felt that her usage of those words about another woman, especially a fellow Black woman, was classless and uncalled for. Even if it was said out of “love.”

There has always been a debate among women, especially Black women, as to whether referring to one another in derogatory terms like “bi**h”, even if said in a playful manner, is appropriate. Some women don’t mind their girlfriends jokingly referring to them in that nature. While others are vehemently against any usage of those terms and see it as an immediate case for someone getting their a** whooped.

Truth time. I do use the term “bi**h” on occasion, jokingly with my closest friends. They also have referred to me with the term as well. For us, it is not so much about the word but the feelings behind it when used. There very much so is a difference between a “bi**h” and a “bi**h!” It truly does depend upon the connotation and tone used when the word is expressed. For me, the feelings and emotions behind words can matter more than the actual words spoken. Another word where this theory can be applied is “love”. People often let this word dribble from their lips easily without hesitation but how often do they really meant it? I mean REALLY. It is very much so about the feelings and emotions behind that word as opposed to merely the word itself.

I can respect any woman who is not cool with being referred to by either of those words. However, in LeToya’s case, it is clear that she was not attempting to disrespect either ladies. Her connotation was one of sisterly love believe it or not. I do agree that it may not have been the most appropriate setting for her to be so open. But clearly no malice was meant by her use.

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—— By: LJ Knight


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