In relationships women are the nurturers and men are the providers but when the roles get reversed whose fault is that? In a day where more women are securing VP and CFO positions in Fortune 500 companies we have become more independent and are making more money than our male counterparts. Due to that, some of us have started to take the responsibility of the provider willingly and sometimes unwillingly depending on the situation. Let's face it, men have always been the provider and now that we got our own, we use that as an advantage or a strategy to gain and/or keep a man, but does that make us the enabler? Women you know I always ride out for us but I have to be real on this one. Some of us when we get to a certain point financially we start to think we can obtain a man’s attention or affection by buying gifts or spending money lavishly. You may not see this man as a user because the sex may be too good to look past all the half attempts on his behalf, but is it our fault?  Wynter Gordon touches on this topic with her song “Created A Monster” and in the chorus she takes the blame by singing:

It’s all my fault/ I can’t complain/ chivalry’s dead/ and I’m to blame/ I played the independent woman for too long/ I’m gonna let you be the man for now on/ And your set in your ways now I’m stuck/ tell me what went wrong/ I created a monster/ How did this get so far/ how did I let this happen/ women we go so hard/ making all kind of exceptions/ giving him/ all of me/ thinking he’d love me more/ soon I’ll have to let him go/ now I’m so sad/ I created a monster

So when that man is used to you paying for the meals, buying the movie tickets, splurging on his expensive wardrobe and whatever else his heart may desire, what makes you think he will do anything different where it may cause you to stop? Nothing! It’s time we stop being the doormats to these men that clearly know a good woman that doesn’t know she is a good woman so she does everything wrong to gain love and attention and take advantage of her. It’s called self-esteem women and knowing your worth. Those are the things you are going to have to work on within you so you won’t allow yourself to be in this position. Let’s stop being the enablers, the doormats, and the weak women who are not aware of the power that we hold as well as the role that we play in this destruction of the family prototype. Make that man step up and play his position accordingly. And ladies if he can’t get with the program he is not worth your time.