Toni Braxton was not quite suicidal, but she was "depressed" and "in a hopeless" place earlier this year.
Opening up in a revealing Uptown magazine cover story, Braxton said kids and family kept her going.
"I was in a small place in my life and I was going to retire. It’s not even a question. I said, ‘I’m tired of fighting.’ I was feeling sorry for myself. I was depressed over where my career was going. I was also down with my health," Braxton told Uptown. "I found out that I developed blood clots and I couldn’t get a grip on this lupus. I didn’t know what was going on with me. I was just in a very uncomfortable place in my life and where I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to be. [I was] not suicidal, but it was a close relative. I’ve got my kids to live for, but I was in a hopeless stage in my life."
Encouraged by music industry friends like Michael McDonald, Missy Elliott and Fantasia, Toni ("Braxton Family Values") says she began to see things differently.
"It’s like when you’re going through things and you think you’re the only one. They told me, ‘We’ve all felt that, and we’ve been there but it’s not time.’ It helped me a bit. But Babyface was the most influential of all those people in getting me back to it," she added.
Now promoting the forthcoming album "Love Marriage and Divorce," Braxton says there were big adjustments when working with Babyface. There were also adjustments she had to make to her own line of thinking, including chasing trends, hits and sales.
“But, now, I’m an artist like he is: established. I have my own opinions. I know how I want my music to be, so I had to remind him: ‘Kenny, I’m your baby sister, but I have breasts and I have boyfriends. You have to accept that I’m grown up now.’ That was the one big adjustment for him. It was nothing negative, nothing negative at all," Braxton told Uptown of reuniting with Babyface for "Love Marriage and Divorce." ""He told me, ‘Toni, you have to stop thinking about selling records. Don’t look at it that way, just have fun.’”
According to Babyface, who is also featured in the cover story, Toni had to focus on making good music, not chasing trends or hits.
"Ultimately my position was to just make it feel good… We weren’t about chasing the trends of whatever is happening now," said Babyface.
Visit Uptown Magazine for the full cover story featuring Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds and Toni Braxton.