Nearly quoting her Billboard Hot 100 song "We Found Love," Rihanna explained her turbulent relationship with Chris Brown and detailed how they are now reconnected as friends and rebuilding trust on "Oprah's Next Chapter" Sunday.
Composed after shedding tears about the night her life changed in 2009, Rihanna told Oprah she and Brown reunited in St. Tropez recently. Describing the experience as awkward, she said that was not the first time they have come together this year.
"I'm single but we have maintained a very close friendship since the restraining order has been dropped. We went to a mutual friend's party on the yacht (in St. Tropez). It's awkward because I still love him," said Rihanna. "I have to maintain this poker face and not let it get to the outer part of me."
With the words "it's not something you can shut off," Rihanna also told Oprah that Brown was the love of her life.
"I think he was the love of my life -- the first love," Rihanna told Oprah. "He loved me the same way. We were young and very spontaneous. We ran free. We ran wild. We were falling in love at a rapid pace. We forgot about ourselves as individuals. I truly love him and the main thing for me is that he is at peace. I'm not at peace if he is unhappy or he is still lonely. I care. It actually matters that he finds peace."
Still, Rihanna says they have to re-build trust in order to be what she is labeling them at this point -- friends.
"We've been working on our friendship again. Now we're very close friends," Rihanna told Oprah after mentioning the fact that he has a girlfriend. "We've built up trust again."
While Rihanna seems very much at peace with her past and Chris Brown, even if she may hold some hope for reconciliation, she is no fan of being called a role model. According to Rihanna, society has associated way too much with those words.
"No, no, no," Rihanna told Oprah when asked if she considers herself a role model. "Because of what society has made of that title. It's become a title of perfection that is something nobody can achieve. I can't say that I'll get it right every time. I'm a work in progress."
Rihanna appeared Sunday, August 19 on "Oprah's Next Chapter."