With Valentine’s day upon us we decided to sit down with some love song crooners and see how these artists view love and relationships. Our first guest was Mr. Charlie Wilson aka Uncle Charlie. He schooled us on love and relationships how it should be, first giving us the back story into his 15-blessed-years of Marriage to his wife, to advice to young couples out there on how they too can make love last forever. Those who miss the good old days where love was at the centerpiece of real R&B songs before trying to “make love in this club”, Uncle Charlie’s sage wisdom and advice is just the breath of fresh air we need for this Valentine’s season.
Singersroom: How did you meet your wife?
Charlie Wilson: That’s the one that everybody wants to know, that one. I was in a rehab when I met my wife; my wife was the doctor and coordinator for a rehabilitation center for a 3,000 bed clinic unit. She was the one who really came to my rescue and really helped me out. When I first met her she said she didn’t know who I was so she was basically just doing her routine doctor things that she normally doesâ¦Around the time I got ready to get released, she sort of asked me, like what I was going to do when I got outâ¦I told her basically I don’t have nowhere to go reallyâ¦so she said well, “you seem like a nice guy, where would you like to live?” I was like I definitely don’t want to go back to Hollywoodâ¦so she helped me out, found a house for me put the furniture in it and all that stuff. So, make a long story short, I just asked herâ¦I said I got all these things that you’ve just given me and nobody to share it with. Would you marry me? And she was like nah I can’t do that I don’t even know you. I said you can be married twenty years and not know a person. I said well I can’t do this by myself. She said well you know what, I don’t know about the married part but I’ll be with you for a little while, try to help get you going again. We basically moved in, she moved in the house that she got me and we been together ever since, that was fifteen years ago.
Singersroom: So, you knew immediately after you met her that you wanted to make her your wife?
Charlie Wilson: Oh, for sure. She just didn’t know it. But yeah, she is, she’s been there every day of the weekâ¦we go everywhere together; it’s more like we’re really best friends first. Then we’re lovers second, and then we’re husband and wife third. (Laughing)â¦because you know with your best friend you tell each other everything that includes all the problems. So we take care of that part. And so onâ¦
Singersroom: People say you often marry someone like your parent; does your wife remind you of your mother?
Charlie Wilson: Sort of, my mother was very outspoken, she just tell you what’s on her mind, and so is my wife. She’s very business minded, everything in the house, the business, has been handled; she takes care of all of that stuff. Like my mom. Yeah, I guess I could say yes to that, I didn’t ever look at it or think about it like that, I guess you’re rightâ¦because me and my mom were very close and I used to tell her everythingâ¦so they share a lot of the same qualities.
Singersroom: How do you keep a healthy work/family balance in your relationship?
Charlie Wilson: Well, we go everywhere together. Anything that’s going to happen is going to happen on the road, or in travel; because we’re everywhere together, everywhere, except, for the public bathroom. We go everywhere together and every single day of our life, we’re together. We don’t evenâ¦ “oh, I’m going to the store I’ll be right back”â¦that don’t even happen. It’s easy to balance everything because we’re always together. We can agree or disagree, but it’s right there on the spotâ¦See, a lot of relationships don’t work sometimes, especially with musicians and entertainers, where the man or woman is not in the business, so the one is being left at home, while the other one is going on the road then if you stay gone a lot, a lot of things happen. It’s not good that way. That’s why I go everywhere with my wife.
Singersroom: How important would you say it is to learn how to comprise in a marriage?
Charlie Wilson: It’s very important, and I think sometimes we [men] need to just zip it and be done with it! Because we always say nine times out of ten, the woman, she’s usually right. So, while we trying to argue, we just need to zip it men and compromise and say okay, you’re right and just go on.
Singersroom: Do you think today’s music depicts love or sex?
Charlie Wilson: I think male vocalistsâ¦we sitting on too many dubs and we in the VIP too much. You know, it’s all good to be in the VIP but we need to start whispering something really sweet in the woman’s ear or whatever. I think we need to get out the VIP, and let’s start talking about something deep into the lyrics. Let’s bring some love to the woman and whisper something in her ear instead of sitting on 22’s. Because she’s going to look at that and say: “okay them dubs [are nice], but where your house at? Are you sleepin’ on them 22s?” (Laughing).
Singersroom: So, as a result of how today’s music is, what’s an example of how songs can better exhibit love?
Charlie Wilson: For instance if you’re going to be talking about sitting on dubs or in the VIP then when you get there and you see a young lady, you should start macking to her right then and there. That’s when the lyrics should start getting sensual. I think that’s the way it should be. So, the youngsters can understand how to really talk to a lady.
Singersroom: Wow! You definitely said something right there! What do you believe is the biggest cause as to why relationships don’t last nowadays?
Charlie Wilson: Well, the reason they don’t last is because it’s too much separation between the two people. It’s not enough visitations amongst themselves. There’s too much wandering and roaming and cheating. The reason why it doesn’t work is because they’re too busy doing other thingsâ¦It isn’t lasting because they’re not true to it! They not true to real love, they don’t understand it. I don’t even think they understand if it’s L-U-V or L-O-V-Eâ¦You have to learn how to love. Once they understand it, I think they can have it.
Singersroom: What advice or tips would u give newlyweds or newly engaged couples on making the love last forever?
Charlie Wilson: Once you commit to that one person, you have to stay with that one person. It’s hard, I know temptation exists, there are better looking guys than me around, but you have to love the one you with and keep the one you with for real. There ain’t no room for nobody else.
—— By: Lauren M Walker