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Gorgeous Girl Syndrome

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Gorgeous Girl Syndrome

It’s not that I’m hating on you super gorgeous girls… I LOVE you gorgeous girls. How can you hate on beauty? It’s just that you ladies are …. how can I say this? Umm, like Martin Lawrence would say, ya’ll are crazy … deranged. Say it with me crazy… deranged!!!

Martin Lawrence
We all know that anyone can be crazy. Crazy is sexy and cool sometimes. Yes, but I have noticed a disturbing trend among the gorgeous girls. The gorgeous girls are distinctively crazier and have similar unattractive behaviors. Through my observation I have found that this is due to excessive pampering, unnecessary gift giving, and extreme complimenting. Too much of anything is not good fellas. There is a strong chance that females with these characteristics or symptoms might have developed a condition called Gorgeous Girl Syndrome. Some characteristics manifest themselves, the laziness, possessiveness, and irrational behaviors. We are facing an epidemic people!!!


When I’m in the club looking to buy a certain lady a drink (shout out to T-Pain) I skip those glamour girls. They have enough dudes buying them drinks and enough “problems.”

Somewhere between buying that gorgeous girl a drink, dating, and catching “feelings,” the ugly comes out. That’s when they lose their sexy, cool and just become CRAZY. I mean 42 voice messages asking where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing? Crazy! I mean hysterically crying in public places (malls, grocery stores, libraries) because you’re leaving for a couple of hours to take care of business. Crazy! (She knows your coming back but she’s just a little loose in the goose)

I mean show up at the job (why do you have to be cooler with my boss than me?), your mother’s house (why you got to tell my mother everything?), your ex-girlfriend’s house (why you got to tell my ex-girlfriend everything?), or your favorite club (how did you get in here before me?) Crazy!

This information has been gathered from years of extensive research. I have graphed my research to make it easier for the public to grasp. As you can see the crazy levels are higher with extremely attractive women and low among the average women. The cool levels are high with average and pretty women but drops significantly with the beautiful and gorgeous women. Last but not least, the sexy is higher with the gorgeous and beautiful women but the gap is not significant.

Ladies don’t fly off the handle I am simply reporting data I have collected through extensive study on the behavior of gorgeous girls throughout the United States of all nationalities (Crazy has no color).

I wouldn’t mind a free drink here or there from an attractive female dressed to kill in her “freak ’em” dress like the Sporty Thieves have so eloquently stated above. Ladies I wouldn’t mind you letting me know I had my sexy face on and you loved my style. (I know you love it) Don’t be a cheapskate remember your independent ladies… right? I guess its part of the game …the drinks, eye contact, and flirting is part of this gender attraction battle. Ladies you’ve got to get it together, and make up your minds; do you want to be an independent woman or do you want free drinks? Women may never make up their mind about this issue but men already have found a resolution. It’s called the Women Drinking Mental Club Contract. Understand that a man drafts a mental contract with your mental signature on it when or if you the women excepts a drink:

Crazy, Sexy, Cool Graph
Crazy, Sexy, Cool Graph


One therapeutic solution would be to show less attention to those gorgeous girls. Do not buy her and her friends that bottle of Moet, don’t give her compliments, or take her out for those expensive dinners and trips. Try treating a big girl for example… they need love too.

Ladies it must be empowering to know that you can be as crazy as you want and still be pursued by armies of men. The makeup, time at the spa, salon, and gym are just ways to cover up this condition. Those sneaky gorgeous girls fool you every time with curvaceous figures, flawless faces, exotic tones, pretty teeth, breathtaking smiles, flowing hair, and manicured toes (the second toe is not even longer than the first… they are perfect).

Gorgeous Girl Syndrome Symptoms

• Checking your phone, car, pockets, or room for contraband or numbers.
• Calling foreign numbers with your phone.
• Showing up unannounced at home, school, or job.
• Excessive questioning
• Befriending people she has no business befriending.
• Being overly suspicious
• Being overly lazy (a big girl will cook for you!)

Fellas, fellas, fellas beware!!! This condition can be easily transferred through any form of interaction. Flirting is one of the leading channels of transference. Gorgeous Girl Syndrome can cause a perfectly rational, polite, and sane man to become a raging, paranoid, and jealous psycho. The illness when transferred to a male can be socially deadly.

“Your way to beautiful girl – that’s why it will never work – you had me suicidal, suicidal” – Sean Kingston

Stay clear from carriers of Gorgeous Girl Syndrome. There are gorgeous girls that are not carriers of the Gorgeous Girl Syndrome. They are few and far in between and it takes years of analysis to make sure they are not. You don’t have to be a super gorgeous girl to be a wonder woman. A females’ measurement doesn’t have to be 36 24 38 and you don’t have to look like a video vixen (Would be nice). You just have to have it together… mind, body, and soul. The perfect balance of sexy, attitude, and class is the ideal formula for a wonder woman. (Shout out to Trey Songz for that video…Nice!!!)

Can I be nosey? Post your comments below.

Where are you on the Crazy, Sexy, Cool graph?

Do you know anyone with this syndrome?

Do you like long walks in the park (if you really took the time to answer this question there might be something wrong up there)?
—— By: Deyior Dunbar

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